Stop the Press!
Jan. 15th, 2006 03:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
abetterlieFrom THE DAILY BUGLE, leading article, written by J. Jonah Jameson himself.
RETURN OF THE GOBLIN
Spider-man: Fraud or Failure?
New York City, 15.01.2006:
HE'S BACK. As the workers of Campbell Industries found out when one of its factories exploded around them and their comrades turned to ashes, the Green Goblin, previously believed to have perished at the hands of Spider-man, has returned. Throwing his signature pumpkin bombs, the maniac was sighted Saturday evening.
*photo*
As the smoke cleared, the pathetic wails of "Spider-man, where are you?" could be heard from the orphans the attack left behind. (Multi-millionaire Todd Campbell, owner of this particular subisidiary of Campbell Industries, could not be reached for a statement; we suspect he is still on his honeymoon.) This paper, never taken in, has a better question: Spider-man, how dumb do you think we are anyway?
"A two man con," Mr. O. Wednesday of the New York police department was heard to declare. "The oldest trick in the world."
Indeed. Clearly, Spider-man and the Green Goblin staged their original fight and the Goblin's subsequent dissappearance in order to make the former's reputation. Now that other vigilantes such as Kid Vicious have been sighted in the city, the red menace believes he needs to reuse his old tricks in order to maintain top status and has caused his former partner-in-crime to reappear from what was doubtlessly a comfortable retirement. The only thing different is their lack of finesse; Spider-man didn't even bother to make a fake "rescue" appearance on Saturday night, despite the fact the destruction of the factory was reported on all police channels, and the flames clearly visible for a long time, even from Manhattan. So much for super senses.
Who will be the next to suffer for Spider-man's thirst for fame, and the Green Goblin's unrivaled glee in destruction? We don't known. But we do know the solution: hunt down the web-slinging freak!
This paper will not rest until this job is done, and New Yorkers can sleep safely again.
RETURN OF THE GOBLIN
Spider-man: Fraud or Failure?
New York City, 15.01.2006:
HE'S BACK. As the workers of Campbell Industries found out when one of its factories exploded around them and their comrades turned to ashes, the Green Goblin, previously believed to have perished at the hands of Spider-man, has returned. Throwing his signature pumpkin bombs, the maniac was sighted Saturday evening.
*photo*
As the smoke cleared, the pathetic wails of "Spider-man, where are you?" could be heard from the orphans the attack left behind. (Multi-millionaire Todd Campbell, owner of this particular subisidiary of Campbell Industries, could not be reached for a statement; we suspect he is still on his honeymoon.) This paper, never taken in, has a better question: Spider-man, how dumb do you think we are anyway?
"A two man con," Mr. O. Wednesday of the New York police department was heard to declare. "The oldest trick in the world."
Indeed. Clearly, Spider-man and the Green Goblin staged their original fight and the Goblin's subsequent dissappearance in order to make the former's reputation. Now that other vigilantes such as Kid Vicious have been sighted in the city, the red menace believes he needs to reuse his old tricks in order to maintain top status and has caused his former partner-in-crime to reappear from what was doubtlessly a comfortable retirement. The only thing different is their lack of finesse; Spider-man didn't even bother to make a fake "rescue" appearance on Saturday night, despite the fact the destruction of the factory was reported on all police channels, and the flames clearly visible for a long time, even from Manhattan. So much for super senses.
Who will be the next to suffer for Spider-man's thirst for fame, and the Green Goblin's unrivaled glee in destruction? We don't known. But we do know the solution: hunt down the web-slinging freak!
This paper will not rest until this job is done, and New Yorkers can sleep safely again.
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no subject
Date: 2006-01-15 02:40 pm (UTC)Too bad it wasn't "golf ball bombs" instead. *veg*
no subject
Date: 2006-01-15 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-01-15 03:43 pm (UTC)