From Cordy and Kara

[abetterlie]

Because it beats wondering whether it was incredibly stupid to leave Angel alone with Harry when I went to class this morning.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want--good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

Comments

[kara-marie.livejournal.com]

I remember you fucking Harry. I remember it really clearly, full colour, sound turned up real loud. Is it possible to remember something you never saw with your own eyes, but have seen in every other way? Because I do. I remember it.

[abetterlie.livejournal.com]

Oh, it's possible. I remember Harry coming back to the Boston condo with your scent rubbed all over him, right after he had told me "this shit never happened", and I remember every bit of what went on between you two.

Do you, Kara? Here's another thing you didn't see for you to remember, since we're clearly into another round of how-Connor-ruined-my-life: when I dangled your father outside the window to scare him into going to Boston and visit you. Sure, that wasn't the intention, but it entirely screwed you over as well, right? And while you're at it, how about remembering me teaching Emily how to consume living things? She didn't know how to before I taught her, you know. Your three Slayer buddies wouldn't have died if I hadn't taught her how.

Come on. I'm sure you can come up with more things to hate me for which I did. Go ahead!

[kara-marie.livejournal.com]

They weren't my buddies, dumbass. I barely knew them. They were my kind. There's a difference.

And I don't have to come up with things. You just hand them to me on a platter.

[abetterlie.livejournal.com]

Right. And here I thought I never manage to come up with something good to give you. But that really works for you, Kara, doesn't it? Having someone you can hate without reservation? I know it used to work for me with Angel.

[kara-marie.livejournal.com]

There's reservation. More than you deserve.

And don't compare us. You and I are not alike.

[abetterlie.livejournal.com]

No, we're just stuck in identical situations right now.

Figures I couldn't get the perfect hate object thing right, either.

If you say so.

[kara-marie.livejournal.com]

And I'll tell you why. And this is the truth. Whatever things I've done I wouldn't do to Warren what you did to me. I wouldn't. I wouldn't, not that it was ever an option, it never was. But I wouldn't, even if it was. Because after I'd done that I would have ruined us and my happiness would have turned to dirt. I couldn't have been happy having done to him what you did to me.

That's why we're not alike. That is why YOU are nothing like ME.

[abetterlie.livejournal.com]

*mistaking Kara's reply to mean she'd never have sex with Tucker while he was with Warren, Connor at first types the following*

Oh, yeah, sure. Just for your information, Harry and I never had sex while you were together with him. No, we're nothing alike.

*Then two things hit him. For starters, though he can't be 100% sure about his suspicion Tucker Wells was the guy Kara had sex with in New York, the fact of the matter is that Tucker Wells is the guy currently in hospital, possibly dying - like Harry - and the person Kara loves most. Which by itself means no Tucker mentions. Secondly, while he and Harry did indeed not have sex, they were emotionally intimate in a way that definitely constitutes cheating. Connor deletes his first reply before sending it.

What he never even suspects is that Kara didn't mean sex at all, but the fact Connor moved in with Harry after the breakup. Nonetheless, he types a new reply, phrased thusly*

Maybe I'm nothing like you because I was happy. But my happiness turned to dirt anyway the moment Griffin slipped him that poison. I'm just refusing to let that be the end of it. I'm not giving up hope, and if you did you would be dead, so face it, you believe he'll recover and you can be happy again, too. Somewhere. You have to.

[kara-marie.livejournal.com]

You're refusing to let it be the end of it? Is that what I should do, Connor? Refuse? I tried that, it doesn't work unless someone wants to refuse right along with you.

You tell me what I should do then to be happy? What am I supposed to do? You tell me.

[abetterlie.livejournal.com]

Not dying. I tried that and it didn't work, plus I went about it in a really stupid way. But figuring out a way to change reality, that works, for a while.

I don't know, Kara. Maybe I'm just better at lying to myself than you are.

[kara-marie.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I wouldn't do it the way you did. It was pretty stupid. I wouldn't do it that way.

Besides... I'm VERY good at lying to myself, but then people come along and ruin it. Which totally sucks. But, what can you do?

Anyway. It was a bad time for me to start up with this lame old routine. Because, you know, in the scheme of things it totally doesn't matter, not in relation to everything else. I don't know why I even started it, I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking.

I clearly lost perspective or whatever. I know it's time to just move beyond all of this and whatever. It's happened, no use going on and on. Besides, we all know it worked out for the best etc. Insert wisdom I'm not capable of at this point, you get my drift.

[bitter-brother.livejournal.com]

Tucker cannot do this meme (DRAG!) but if he could, in regards to THIS particular comment, about dangling Kara's dad out of a window, scaring him into visiting her in Boston, where she promptly pulverized him into hamburger: Tucker would say that his strongest memory of Connor is when he asked Mr. Keating to draw a picture of the "Tucker Wells" he'd met in California. Who looked A LOT LIKE CONNOR!

:-)

Secretly plotting his death,
Tucker of the Clan McOOC

[abetterlie.livejournal.com]

He. And you know, the funniest thing is that Connor actually didn't use Tucker's name out of spite but to make sure that if Mr. Keating said what prompted the blessed reunion with Kara during which he was supposed to be so intimidated that he behaved like a model Dad, Tucker would get the credit and Kara wouldn't feel like she'd have to thank Connor.

(Well, nobody ever denied Connor can be amazingly dense at times.*g*)

Connor's strongest memory of Tucker would be getting accused of having made a pass at Warren, of course, and going "huh?!?".

*locked*

[osborn-heir.livejournal.com]

The look on your face the first time you visited New York and tried on the club clothes I bought for you. You seemed totally in awe that I could guess your size perfectly and a little embarrassed by how good the fit was. I was right about the clothes bringing out the color of your eyes, and I knew I'd always want to see you dressed in shades of blue whenever I bought things for you.

*very locked*

[abetterlie.livejournal.com]

Well, I was. Both in awe and embarassed. Nobody had picked out clothes for me before - I mean, other than my mom, obviously - plus the style was, err, different. I didn't know I could be that guy who wore it.

You and your evil wiles, Man of Manhattan.

[not-a-eunuch.livejournal.com]

In the alley outside of that first club we went too when you first came back. We were sparring and you smiled, and it was when I realized you had your mother's smile as well as her eyes. It was the first time I heard you laugh since you were a baby.

[abetterlie.livejournal.com]

It felt so good to laugh and to spar, but I shouldn't have done it. That's why he killed himself. Because he watched us.

That was the second good time in this dimension, after sharing a meal with Sunny.

[queen-c-tm.livejournal.com]

When I first came back from being a higher being, and I didn't remember anything. Not who I was, or where I was, or who any of my friends were. You were the only one who didn't look at me like you were expecting something from me. You were the only one who wasn't disappointed when I didn't recognize you. It's kind of like what you said in mine - you were the first one that was completely honest with me about things.

[abetterlie.livejournal.com]

I think we both were lost in this world at that time. And had just about enough lies.

There is a lot of stuff that happened that year that I wish hadn't, but I never wished I hadn't taken your hand and run with you out of the Hyperion, or told you the truth. You were the first friend I ever had.

[queen-c-tm.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I was able to be there for you then. Despite what happened later, I wouldn't want to change that part of it.

[pixie-viscera.livejournal.com]

You tasted sweet.

[abetterlie.livejournal.com]

*locked, because of Angel and Kara and Darla*

You tasted like family.

[pixie-viscera.livejournal.com]

We are.