Break (Ficlet)

[abetterlie]

After this

"Anger and hate," Justine said to him once. "Severely underrated. Keeps you going. Well, not you."

But then, she hadn't known him when hate kept him going, save for those two days between the death of one father and the imprisonment of another. Then Wesley had captured her and locked her up. In a closet. He's thinking of Justine a lot these days, and how she hated closed rooms afterwards, how they drove with open windows whenever they could. He also thinks of Angel under the sea, and the question of who deserves what.

Until Darla comes, and suddenly the fact his cell is neither a closet nor a coffin under the sea and that he does have blood on his hands doesn't provide him with the same resignation any more. He wants to breathe air again, any air, even some of the more toxic fumes from volcanos back in Quortoth would do, he wants his life back, and no matter whether Harry is really okay back in Gotham or not, he wants to see that for himself.

He also wants to hurt someone for this entire situation. And there are no demons around.

(Save for himself.)

Ironically, his general passivity so far, after the first day and assorted knocked out inmates, and the fact solitary didn't cause him to confess have persuaded the administration to a change of tactics. He's put in a cell with another murder suspect awaiting trial. As opposed to many a prison movie, the man in question is neither an oversized gorilla interested in rape nor an innocent who somehow ended up in detention. He's mostly complaining about how his lawyer screwed things up and didn't get him bailed out, and otherwise looking forward to visits from his wife. The person he killed was his son's math teacher.

"She was gonna let him fail," he explains. "Bitch." Hastily, he adds: "But of course I didn't do it."

The next day, Connor is offered a more or less blatant deal. Instead of having to watch the photos of his burned family yet again, he gets to watch photos of Harry Osborn, severely beaten up.

"Now Detective Fitzgerald, she figures the two of you were in it together, for a joyride," the policeman pushing the photos to him says. "But me, I can see another scenario. Maybe the Osborn boy just had bad luck and bad timing. But not you. Look, son, I know a killer when I see one. Bet no one would get the idea of putting your pal Harry into general population again if you confessed to all the murders. I'm just sayin'."

It takes all the will power he has not to move and react until the policeman shrugs and is about to signal the end of their conversation to the guards. Then he takes a page from Faith's book. He has crossed dimensions. He can do this. The main thing is not to look back.

There are glass splinters in his hair and there might be a bullet somewhere in his shoulder, at least that would explain the blood and the stinging pain there, but half an hour later he's on the road. Another hour later, he's confronted with his first demon. Only the demon turns out to be a costume, and not qualified for painsharing. Connor is hiding in one of the many underground tunnels beneath Los Angeles, far too familiar from the past, when it hits him.

He had forgotten. It's almost Halloween.

Comments

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

"In a manner of speaking."

The Doctor doesn't bother to explain further---textbook enigmatic, that is---he merely ruffles through his cabinets, producing an anesthetic, medical tweezers, and a needle and thread. Washes his hands. Moves the utensils over to the table. It isn't going to be the best work, but he does have the abilities to do minor surgery on the run. He did it often during the War, though that was mostly on himself.

Not something to think about.

"And after that?" he asks, dropping the needle to Connor's shoulder, "After you've seen him? What next? Where will you go?"

[abetterlie.livejournal.com]

Connor doesn't react to the needle, which has more to do with being raised by Daniel Holtz than it has with superpowers.

"I don't know," he says. "Depends on whether he's okay. Well. As much as possible."

He thinks about the photos again, thinks about Harry locked up and what that did to him the last time, and fights down the not-helpful impulse to kick something. Or throttle someone. All that's in the sickbay to kick are useful medical instruments, and he doesn't want to throttle either the Doctor or Illyria, not that Illyria would let him get close enough to her neck to try in any case. Pity she killed the other two vampires, though.

"If he is, maybe I'll go even back to the cops. Maybe that will convince them I didn't do it. If he's not - "

If Harry is not in Gotham but still locked up in New York, or in Gotham but not in a state to speak and make decisions, maybe he'll have to rethink the life-on-a-run option. Or the fake confession. Because he's not going to let them lock Harry up again.

[perfectblue.livejournal.com]

Illyria's been observing the proceedings silently, watchfully. She's confident the Doctor can attend to Connor's injury in a less painful manner than she would have, though there's an air of protectiveness about the way she watches, and the question she asks.

"You are concerned he's been harmed."

It's an observation, not a question. Human emotions were things to be read - analyzed and largely ignored, but she'd had less luck with that second part.

[rude-not-ginger.livejournal.com]

The Doctor raised his eyebrow at the protectiveness in Illyria's voice. It was very like a mother tending a child---though the thought of Illyria as a mother was downright terrifying.

Which meant the boy meant something to Illyria. And Illyria, as companion, meant a good bit to the Doctor. Mathamatically, that meant that if a + b = c and b + d also equals = c, that meant that a + d = c.

Circular logic always did make him dizzy, though.

He tossed off his suit jacket and pulled up the sleeves on his shirt, "That anesthetic should kick in in a moment, we'll get the bullet out then." Without missing a beat, he asked, "Someone's set you up, then? What did they say? Who are they?"

[abetterlie.livejournal.com]

Looking at Illyria, Connor says: "They did harm him. I just don't know how much yet."

Which was why it was time to stop the brooding and do something. He knows what he did do is not the most rational thing. If he had not met Illyria, he'd still be running through the tunnels of Los Angeles dripping blood, and nowhere near a position to help Harry. But he did meet Illyria, and this helps beyond finding a hiding place and a means of transport. When Connor first met Illyria, during what turned out to bet he last hours of his memory-free life, he simply thought she was cool and well, yes, attractive. When he met her again with the full knowledge of the past, she could not help but remind him of that other goddess lost in a human world, his daughter, Jasmine, though the two are in fact very different. By now, Illyria is simply herself, and yet all the previous undercurrents are there as well. He admires her – and maybe this is because there is a need in him left by Holtz and Jasmine to mix admiration with faith, to look up - and sometimes feels oddly protective. Connor will never stop believing he failed Jasmine, that he should have found a way to respond in that last hour of despair that wasn’t killing her, and seeing Illyria coming to terms with humanity without losing her divinity is always helping.

“You do what you have to to protect your own,” he says to her, convinced she’ll understand. Then he looks at the Doctor again. Who is relentlessly logical. Which, coupled with that English accent, also evokes memories.
Think, Stephen. Before you hunt, you need to think.

“The cops who arrested me where called Fitzgerald and Yoon,” he says in reply to the Doctor’s question, sounding a bit defensive because of said memories, “and it was Yoon who showed me the photos today because I haven’t confessed yet. I don’t know whether they really believe I did it or not. Sometimes I wonder whether –“

He looks at Illyria again, not knowing whether she filled the Doctor in on the whole Wolfram and Hart thing.

„- whether the Senior Partners set this up, you know, as payback because Angel went against them. But so far no one from Wolfram and Hart has shown up to gloat, and I figure they would have, if they were behind it.”

[perfectblue.livejournal.com]

There's faint approval in her acknowledging nod to Connor's comment about protecting one's own. She always had, though she'd been a ruthless creature, as well. Sacrifices were made - followers who trusted her had died in her name. Even a goddess cannot protect them all, and she hadn't been a particularly kind one.

Now, the list of those she'd willfully protect?

Wesley, and possibly by extension the rest of his so-called family. Fred not because Illyria cared for her, but because Wesley did and she would not see him grieve like that again. Methos for much the same reason, and because she knew he'd protect Wesley as fiercely as she did. Connor very likely would be on the list simply because he'd been the only one to treat her remotely like a goddess, and something like a ... she wouldn't say friend, but like someone who belonged in this world. Something about his spirit resonated with her. The violence beneath the kindness. She could tell it was there. And of course, the Doctor. She'd protect him because he was of use to her, and because they tolerated each other well. Their connection was... not as dark as most of her others. More of necessity for both of them, she thought, even if said necessity included companionship of a sort.

Speaking of the Doctor, Illyria addresses him in explanation.

"The Wolf, Ram, and Hart were the symbolic names of three creatures that were above the vampire, in my time, but below my kind. They hid in wait, outlived us. Survived in this dimension and others. They now hide under the guise of a law firm, and they are no more inclined to forget a grudge than I am."

That she herself had once been in talks with Lilah Morgan about regaining her powers is not something she's willing to share at present.